Ahoy there, matey! All buccaneers to the poop deck or ye’ll be walkin’ the plank! Aaarrgh! Here be some fine books t’ teach you everythin’ you need t’ know about bein’ a pirate and t’ help you celebrate Talk Like a Pirate day t’ the fullest.
The Pirate’s Handbook by Margarette Lincoln: Provides facts about real pirates such as Long Ben Avery, Black Bart, Captain Kidd, and Henry Morgan; discusses piratical customs; and gives instructions for makin’ pirate shoe buckles, a treasure map, and other items.
How to Be a Pirate by John Malam: T’ year be 1680, and once you sign on t’ t’ ship, thar’s no turnin’ aft. You’ll need t’ learn new skills, like tyin’ knots, rowin’, and cutlas fightin’. You’ll be taught how t’ pump out t’ bilge and repair torn sails. But most o’ all, you’ll want t’ capture ships and seize their treasure.
Everything I Know About Pirates: A Collection of Made-up Facts by Tom Lichtenheld: Tom Lichtenheld always wondered why pirates’ pants be so raggedy on t’ bottom edges, and what makes pirates so crabby all t’ time, and why it be that earrin’s were macho on pirates way before they became cool for any other guys. So he decided it was up t’ him t’ write t’ final word on piratedom. This encyclopedia o’ spectacularly unscientific, unfounded facts about those nasty brigands o’ t’ sea will thoroughly satisfy t’ curiosity o’ landlubbin’ vermin and pirate wannabes alike.
The Crude, Unpleasant Age of Pirates: The Disgusting Details About the Life of Pirates by Christopher Forest: From cramped quarters and salty, rotten food t’ bloody battles and deathly storms at sea, life aboard a pirate ship was right unpleasant. Get ready t’ explore t’ nasty side o’ pirate life.