1. In Woody Allen’s short story The Kugelmass Episode, the protagonist discovers a magic cabinet that will allow him to visit his favorite books. Using this cabinet, which books would you absolutely visit? which would you avoid?
2. If you could be a famous author for a day, who would you choose? Why?
Josephus. So, he’s not that famous unless you’re into ancient history. But I just want to know what actually went down with the whole suicide pact thing. Decides to kill his buddies and then join Vespasian? What was up with that?
3. What is your favorite question to answer at the library? Least favorite question?
4. What do you love about working at the library?
5. What book helped you learn to love reading?
It’s hard to name one in particular. As a kid I spent most of my time in the Storytelling Wing here at Orem Library. I loved folk tales from around the world. It was always so cool to experience the various cultures of the world through their stories, and Orem has such a great selection of folktales! Also, I loved outdoor adventures like My Side of the Mountain and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. They encouraged me to read, but also encouraged me to get away from the TV which is probably how I escaped being a bloated vegetatus videogamus like so many of today’s kids, and wound up being the tall, dark, and handsome athlete I am. Don’t laugh, it might be true one day (when I stop reading and go outside).
6. If you had to live in a section of the library, which section would you choose?
The storytelling wing has a lot of childhood nostalgia for me, and it’s one of my favorite places in the library so I’d stay there (great place to raise kids as well).
7. How many members of your family (including pets) have you named after characters in books?
8. In order to save the world from the impending apocalypse, all but three novels must be sacrificed to the zombies; which three novels do you save?
Practical answer: The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks, for obvious reasons. The Anarchist Cookbook by William Powell is a great resource for… many things… And Robert Heinlein’s Tunnel in the Sky is a great read and a decent guide for the re-establishment of civilization in a hostile setting (avoid Lord of the Flies). Depending on the situation, Warm Bodies might provide some guidance into making life a bit more pleasant as far as undead members of the opposite gender goes and could be swapped out for one of the other books if you so desire. Also as an alternative to Tunnel in the Sky, Frederick Bastiat’s The Law would be (in my humble opinion) the best blueprint for a functional government and society. Certainly would be a better alternative to our current political situation. But heck, a zombie apocalypse would probably be preferable to our current political situation.
9. What is your favorite quote about books and/or reading?
“A room without books is like a body without a soul.” – Marcus Tullius Cicerio
10. Favorite thing you’ve read this year?
11. Please tell your favorite library puke story.
No fresh puke, just dried puke on books in the bookdrop. Plenty of other puke stories though, mainly involving hiking, orange juice, or intestinal worms, but I’ll leave those for another time…
12. If you were a book, which genre would you be categorized in and why?
I was told once that I’m an eighty-year old in a twenty-year old’s body (don’t ask me for pop music recommendations, I haven’t gotten past Rachmaninoff) so I guess that would put me in large print…
By choice however, I would be outdoor humor. Bill Lepp and Patrick McManus have inspired many adventures which resulted in some rather strange reflexes, topless trees, new curse words, nervous twitches, scar tissue which resulted in uncontrollable leaking of bodily fluids, interesting conversations with police officers, permanent loss of feeling in various areas of my body, inside jokes, instant immolation of body hair, opportunities to view human bones “in situ” and a completely desensitized mother who would completely ignore me when I walked in the door and told her my eye was bleeding (it actually was).